Things I've learnt in 2008

Finally, last week of uni is over. No more study! Until the next sem. But now there is just this ... this quietness ... everything slowly winding down. Feels like every reserve of energy and adrenaline has been exhausted just to keep things going this semester.

How different 2008 has turned out to be. I've learnt this year that you can never predict or control the future. So many unexpected events have lead to my today and sometimes when you can't quite see the future clearly, there just needs to be that faith to believe that 'the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything He does' (Ps 33:4). I never thought I'd come to a day when I could be okay with uncertainty - but I'm getting there.

I've also learnt that noble ambitions and happy feelings don't last - and after all that's promised to God, actually obeying Him sometimes requires us just to keep at it because we know the truth. 'I take joy in doing Your will God, for Your instructions are written on my heart' (Ps 40:8)

And despite sad times, I still believe Ps 84:11b 'The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right'. Sometimes in the midst of our obedience, it just doesn't feel that way. Yet I think there is no other way to live than to live 100% for God. Although I don't have 80 years of experience yet, I have this sneaky suspicion that I'd live to regret it if I didn't choose to lay my life down for God.

I don't write this with any noble feelings at the moment. When the realities of the 'cost' of obedience starts to hit home, the temptation to compromise becomes so appealing. You start to entertain thoughts of 'Does it really have to be this way God?'

But the point isn't trying to negotiate a better deal with God - as if He would give us anything less that perfect. The point is: Do I really trust that He will not withhold any good thing as I choose to do what is right? And do I really want to do God's will because I love Him more than anything else?

I think I do ... I want to ... God, help me to ...