Memories of my mom

A few weeks ago, Ps Jonathan preached an amazing message on "remember" - and that sparked off a train of thoughts that have brought me back to the past. As I looked back on my wonderfully rich life so far, I revisited some beautiful memories of my family. Since mothers' day has just passed two days ago, I thought I'd share some of those memories of my mom. Enjoy.... :)

I reckon mom was meant to be a tour guide by profession. She can make ANY PLACE interesting, and on any sort of budget! As a child, I think I visited every possible touristic spot in Peninsular Malaysia. Mom thrived on making fun trips to waterfalls, beaches, museums, cultural events, etc. And she was absolutely the best at planning out itineraries for visiting friends, taking them not only to the 'normal' spots tourists go too but also to the lesser known places to give people a taste of the culture and life of Penang.

The greatest challenge to her skills came when we left Penang for Sibu in 1990. Now Sibu is a tiny, sleepy little town, which became known as the "second largest town in Sarawak" solely because it was placed along the Rajang River and was important in transporting goods, particularly timber, to the ports. (Miri is fast overtaking Sibu now that river transport has become less important). Hence, as you read between the lines, there was not much entertainment or places of interest. Actually, there was only ONE shopping complex there at the time, (if it could even be called a shopping complex!) and it was only 2-3 stories high. And McDonalds wasn't even there yet when we first arrived (it came a few years later).

So mom worked her magic. If you visited us in little ol' Sibu in those days, a snapshot of your itinerary would look something like this:-
- visit the wet markets because they sell all sorts of weird animals!
- take a night out on the Rajang River port (never mind that the river actually looks like milk tea. That's why you go at night, you can't see the colour)
- possibly take one of their river boats across to the little amusement park- just for the sake of a ride
- visit that park somewhere out of Sibu
- take a tour in the pottery factory and buy some handcrafted little vases!
- visit the pepper factory (Sarawak is famous for its pepper). You can even buy pepper perfume (an acquired smell I think)
- possibly visit a long house
- visit the little museum (which I have to admit is pretty interesting)
- of course, Bandung is a must - because it sells the best 'ikan bakar' (grilled fish / stingray)
- try the famous kam-pua mee (noodles)
- try the yummy belian (ferns - only available in Sarawak!) and crispy skinned chicken (I've never been able to find anything similar anywhere else)
- eat at Chopsticks for their yummy fish noodles and buns (can't remember the name)

There, that would probably take up a good 4-5 days at least, and you're sure to have lots of great memories after. :)

And we didn't stop there. If you asked most Sarawakians, they have hardly been to any other place in Sarawak except their own town and perhaps Kuching (the capital city). My family has been to Kuching, Sarikei, Bintulu, Miri, Mulu caves, Kapit, and a host of other little tiny towns and even a few longhouses. We've travelled by boat and on untarred mud roads all over Sarawak because of mom.

You see, I reckon mom's magic is the ability to help us discover why a place is so interesting. In my teen years when I turned my nose up on these wealth of experiences, I looked for the big, flashy stuff, you know, the fancy coffee shops, the shopping malls, the cinema or other 'fun' experiences. But as I have 'aged', I'm beginning again to appreciate the experiences I've gone through because of mom. It is getting beneath what the city offers to its tourists and truly experiencing life as the locals know it. And discovering that no matter how "boring" a place might seem at first, if you look deep enough, there are treasures to be found.

In the same way, just as mom is able to look past and see the treasures within a place, she is able to look past the outward appearance and see the treasures within a person. One of the most significant memories I've had is watching mom love and build relationships with the youth in Sarawak - relationships that lasted even when we came back to Penang. I learnt from her to value all people because when you do get close enough, you'd realise that everyone is interesting and has an amazing story to tell.

My mom was also the first in our family to start using computers and internet (yup, even before us kids!). I distinctly remember being instructed by mom to reply my emails when I was 16 because I was being "rude". Haha. I reckon I'm the only teenager that has ever been told by my mom to get on the internet! She learnt to use MSN and other chat programs way before I did and she visits more blogs that I do. Although dad has fast overtaken her in the number of hours they individually spend on the internet, mom remains the winner in terms of being the first to get us on to it. I think part of this is because mom is probably curious and a pioneer at heart - willing to try new things. Without her, I'd probably be stuck in the middle ages. ;) Also I think she has continued to learn because she wants to be involved in what her children are doing. She surprised me one year by her wealth of World Cup knowledge - solely because David was into it so she was watching football with him! I wonder if I'd ever be that sacrificial. hehe.

There are so many other great memories I have of mom, but this last one always sticks out. I remember our heart to heart chats usually in the afternoon. Mom usually would be doing something, ironing, folding clothes, etc. I'd be slacking on her double bed. I've always been able to share openly with my parents about things, and I think the main reason why is because their response has been so totally unexpected. The first time I thought I dropped a bombshell (i.e. I did something naughty ;)) I expected anger, punishment, etc. Instead, I received understanding, empathy, and even a few stories on mom's part of what it was like for her when she was young. And of course, I'd receive truth. Mom's listening and empathy, AND sound advice, drew me to be honest with my parents.

This was tested to its greatest when I was 18-19 and I willfully disobeyed God and my parents. I remember mom's exasperation once, when she just said pointblank that I'm old enough to make my decisions, and she cannot force me to change my mind, but that they have given me godly advice and it is now up to me. The surprise of realising that mom wasn't going to sit on me till I changed my mind taught me so much about love, and how love does not manipulate or force others, even to do what is right and good. What a painful place to be in when you watch someone you love possibly choosing the wrong path, and yet knowing that you cannot change their mind by force unless that person choose freely.

This freedom I've had to share with my parents who I am and what I am going through has helped me so much in my relationship with God. I personally have never struggled to come to God just as I am, because somehow inside, there is this child-like faith that God would never turn me away. The experience of love from my parents that is kind and gentle and does not force or manipulate, yet believes all things and hopes all things, gives me so much security. It has shown me a picture of God's love. It has in turn taught me to express love to others in the same way.

My mom is truly an amazing woman who has fulfilled God's calling on her life as she cared for her children, and is continuing to fulfill that now that we are grown up. A speaker a few months ago said this:
Influence is to win the heart and soul of another through character. It is more powerful than authority. Authority can shape what people do, but influence shapes what people becomes.

Thank you, mom, for being such a key influence in my life. You have obviously the authority to shape what I do but thank you for fulfilling your more important role of shaping who I've become.

Happy mothers' day! :)