Hope (3)

There comes a moment in time when a thought, a picture, a memory, brings back the past. You look back with eyes of understanding now what you could not have possibly understood back then.

Such a moment came upon me whilst I was following the life of Prince Andrey Bolkonsky (in War & Peace) as he faced war for the second time. This time, his whole attitude had changed. He had, from his first experience, realised that in war the most deeply meditated plans were of no avail, and that there was no such thing as military genius when no one could possibly know the relative conditions of both the army and the enemy at any one given time, nor could one gauge the force of a detachment purely from its numbers. Such were his thoughts that when presented the opportunity this second time to serve with the generals or with the Tsar, he chose instead to remain in his current position and to be sent to the front fighting with his fellow soldiers.

What a change from the prince in his younger days who believed that the power to win a war lies with the commander in chief and his generals and with the great minds that thought out detailed battle plans!

Five years ago, I would not have appreciated this story nor understood what Leo Tolstoy (the author) was trying to say. The eyes of experience teach you the futility of human effort more than any book, teacher or philospher can hope to explain.

Surely we remember such moments when one believed one could change the world! The memories of great zeal and passion, the pleading to God to use one's life, and the resulting feeling of happiness at expressing such abandonment to His purpose (which was probably more an emotion stemming from excitement and anticipation of doing some great exploit). Although we know it now to be more an expression of the vitality and naive belief of youth in its own power, of life not yet tainted by failure or disappointment or the practical realities of a complex world, still at that moment there existed the simplicity of hope, the childish egoism that firmly believes one's life could change the entire course of history.

Experience now teaches us to laugh at such hope. It reveals the complexity of this world, the myriad of different forces that compel and provoke individuals to live to their own desires. If one were compelled by a cause of great significance, its achievement lies not only in the hands of one or a few important authorities. There lies entire systems of thoughts and worldviews and values that make up society. And to move society, much less to move one person in their ideas, is not as simple as we would like to think.

Now, a little older and wiser, we understand the anguish with which the Preacher cries in Ecclesiastes, 'Meaningless! Meaningless! ... What profit has a man from all his labour?' For two full chapters, the Preacher cries out in despair, highlighting the futility of labour and human effort and wisdom. 'What can we do that has not already been done? And who knows what will come after us? Who can be sure that our labour will not be lost?' Surely, thoughts that have plagued minds for centuries.

And right in the middle of this all, we read Ecclesisastes 3.

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under heaven....

God has made everything beautiful in its time,
He has put eternity in the hearts of men
except that no one can find out the work
that God does from beginning to the end ...

I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
Nothing taken from it.

It is easy (especially for idealists!) to despair at the hopelessness of this world. But we despair, because deep inside, we believe, there is something better. Why do we find ourselves striving to change the world? Because somehow, we know that the world as we know it was never meant to be in this current condition. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope ... because creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption! (Romans 8:20-21).

What is our response as Christians? We HOPE STILL! For we have a promise that there will be a new heaven and a new earth ... and God will dwell with men and we will be His people ... God will wipe away every tear, there will be no more sorrow, no more crying, no more pain ... Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful". (from Rev 21:1-5)

Experience has taught me to discard my old views on how I was going to change the world. I now understand the futility of assuming humankind can work out how history is going to unfold and intervene to change its course. Only God understands His work from the beginning to the end. And now, there comes a quietness in knowing that as long as I do what He wants me to do right this very moment, perhaps one day in the future, He will show me how that very act was a part of His work in making all things new.

So, I hope.... still.