What confidence is this in which you trust? Part 4

Now we come to the climax of the story, and really the verse that first piqued my curiosity about this entire story.

This is the day of trouble and rebuke and blasphemy; for the children have come to birth, but there is no strength to bring them forth. Isa 37:3

Everything really climaxed for me in the month of October and November 2007. It felt like if anything could go wrong, it did. And because I was already tired, worn out, isolated and vulnerable, every accusation, every attack, hurt a lot more. When things couldn't get any worse (or so I thought), I started struggling with an issue I thought I had already overcome in my uni years. Talk about demoralised. I remember feeling like I just wanted to give up.

But God was waiting for me - and He knew exactly what I needed. It was amazing how every sermon and every leadership training session I attended was exactly what I needed to hear. And I could never be thankful enough to Ps Bek A, and Ps Jon & Bec Font, for being there when I needed the guidance the most.

I remember Ps Nick's session the most, because it was then that I suddenly understood Isa 37:3. Ps Nick was teaching on tests, and he used an illustration about the birth of his first daughter and how his wife initially planned NOT to take the epidural to ease the pain. However as the pain escalated, her resolve broke down until at last she insisted on taking the epidural. However the effect of the pain being removed was eventually offset by the extention of the length of the whole birthing process. And Ps Nick made a comment that sometimes we as leaders need to choose not to take the epidural (or find that quick fix to alleviate our pain), because we would lose the drive to push through. In fact, pain can be a blessing in disguise because it forces us to push through.

This whole story of King Hezekiah suddenly feel into place. Everything that had happened, the loss of the strong cities, the accusations and loss of confidence, had finally culminated in this one moment - where it was almost as if the "baby" or the miracle was about to come out, but there was no more strength because of the pain, exhaustion, and fear. Boy did I relate to this.

It is interesting to note how King Hezekiah responded. In Isa 37:1-6, he sent messengers to Isaiah the prophet, and it sounded as if he was pretty demoralised too (consider the way he addressed God in Isa 37:4 "It may be that the Lord your God"..). However, when Isaiah encouraged him, King Hezekiah's response when another attack came was a lot different. Hear the faith and truth he expressed:

"O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, the One who dwells between the cherubim, You are God, You alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. Incline Your ear, O Lord, and hear; open You eyes, O Lord, and see; and hear all the words the Sennacherib, who has sent to reproach the living God. Truly, Lord, the kings of Assyria have laid waste all the nations and their lands, and have cast their gods into the fire, for they were not gods, but the work of men's hands - wood and stone. Therefore they have destroyed them. Now therefore, O Lord our God, save us from his hand, that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that You are the Lord, You alone." Isa 37:16-20

And God answered him.

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It was really difficult during that time not to give up. It would have been so much easier just to not hope anymore, or to not try - very much like taking the epidural. But I thank God that He knew just what I could handle, and that He gave me the strength to make the right choices at the right time. I'm so glad He doesn't leave me to my own devices because I would have failed miserably! Thank God for Jesus, our Faithful High Priest who ever lives to make intercession on our behalf (Heb 7:25)